sap 发送邮件配置:各位高手请评论一下小弟的这两篇英语文章,有什么不妥尽管指出来

来源:百度文库 编辑:高考问答 时间:2024/04/30 05:39:58
Passage 1:
Dr:You look pale,what's the matter with you?
A:Oh!I have a headache,I'm feeling terrible.I need a favor!
Dr:Let me see,all right!You have a cold,it make your head headache.Take these pills,you will get well soon.
A:Doctor,I'm so fat,Can you help me?
Dr:Of course,You should eat less meat and chocolate,more fruit and vegetables.And do more exercise.
A:You're welcome.It's my duty to help others.

Passage 2:
June,sixteeth Saturday sunny
At last minutes in last class on evening.I was very exciting,Because there will be a soccor game.
On my way home,I saw a little boy was crying,I think he got."Do you need a favor?"I asked him. The boy told me her family address.
So I found her home quicky.her family was very happy and said:"You are very kind!come in!Let's have the dinner.""No Thanks,I must go home,good bye!"
When I got home,the soccor game was over,But I'm very happy,I think help others is happy.

呵呵,楼主不知道是男是女噢,你这两篇文章问题不少噢,建议下次写完自已认真改一下,然后再发到网上请其它人改,这次我帮你改一下吧!~~可能我要求苛刻了一点,找的错误或者不当之处不少,楼主不要灰心哦,以你现在的水平能写这么多不错了,继续努力.另外有一个问题,就是有些说法不太地道,我也给你标出来了.

I need a favor!<这种说法不好,应该委婉一些,would you please help me?>

all right!<删掉,完全没有必要>

it make your head headache<没有这么说的,应该是so you feel not well>

A:Doctor,I'm so fat,Can you help me?<Can you help me这么说不好,而且这句话也不合适的,话题转的太快,这么说吧:Thank you,but there is another problem,that is I'm a little fat,would you like to give me some advice?>

I was very exciting<excited才是形容人的感觉的>

At last minutes in last class on evening.I was very exciting,Because there will be a soccor game.<前面的句子又乱又不好听,改一下吧,呵呵,At the last minutes of the evening class>

boy was crying<这块的was删掉,要不就有两个动词了>

I think he got<think??thought!>

her family was<her?his才对.而且family在这块应当强调人员,用were>

You are very kind!come in!Let's have the dinner
.""No Thanks,I must go home<这块有点中国味太足了,西方人好象不这么说..I really don't know how to thank you enough.How about leaving for a dinner?而且回答也不能太生硬,外国人一般人不会生硬据绝别人的.把No Thanks,I must go home改成Thanks,but I'm afraid I must go home now.>

But I'm very happy,I think help others is happy.<am改was,think改thought,help改helping,动词一篇文章内忌时态乱用,最后一句不如改成"I thought helping others could make me happy,too.>

Dr:You look pale,what's the matter?
A:Oh!I have a headache,I FEEL terrible.I need a DIAGNOSIS!
Dr:Let me see. all right!You have a cold,it makeS your head HURT.Take these pills,you will get well soon.
A:Doctor,I'm ALSO fat,Can you help me?
Dr:Of course,You should eat less meat and chocolate,more fruit and vegetables.And do more exercise.
A:THANK YOU!
DR:You're welcome.It's my duty to help others.

June,sixteeth Saturday sunny
At last minutes in last class IN THEevening.I was very excitED, Because there will be a soccor game.
On my way home,I saw a little boy was crying,I think he got."ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"I asked him. The boy told me her family address. (boy 是用 HER 啊??)
So I found her home quicky.her family was very happy and said:"You are very kind!come in!Let's have the dinner." I REPLIED, "No Thanks,I must go home,good bye!"
When I got home,the soccor game was over,But I'm very happy,I think help others is REWARDING.

写的不错!! 几年级的?只是一点 vocabulary 和不小心 的错误, 但是,已经很好了。我改的地方是大写的。