海鸣馆巡查部长3种子:英语高手请进，急

Why Should Have Military Training?
为什么没有主语呢？

When I entered into university, the first thing I did was to receive military training. Days were awful: we got up early in the morning and practiced standing and walking all the time.

Entered into 后面的into去掉。

I even wondered what on hell we could get by broiling in the hot sun all day long?
So I always asked for sick leave to avoid it. I was so proud for my petty trick until the parade came. All my classmates were excited about it and only I lost my chance to be in. I felt so lost and became reflected on the significance and the benefits of military training.

Proud for 是否可以改成proud of？
Reflected 是不是可以改为to reflect

Why should we have military training? As we know, military training is a special component of national defense. Its objective is to train the young people to be the reserves of the country. Just think of it, what if a country doesn’t have reserves? How huge the national defense expenses would be if it wants to guarantee its safety.

Doesn’t 是不是可以改为didn’t ，用虚拟语气表现在

Not to mention, it is almost impossible to guarantee a country’s safety without reserves. So military training is essential. To have military training is the obligation rather than the right. We, the students, are the representatives of young people. And there is no doubt that this responsibility should fall upon our shoulders.
Military training is essential, and in the meantime, it is also an issue beneficial to the individuals. Though it is tough, but we can learn a lot from it.

But we can中的but是否可以去掉
As I have mentioned above, I always asked for sick leave to avoid military training and I finally suffered from a great sense of loss. Why? Military training teaches us a sense of collectiveness. Only in the team can you find yourself. And it also trains us to be brave and tough when facing difficulties.
And though是否可以去掉？另外 when facing 是否改成when confronted with？

After military training, I realized what a shame it was to be a craven deserter in front of difficulties and I would be shame for it in my whole life. Moreover, it is a great chance to strengthen our body and cheer up our spirit. And it did help us a lot to adapt ourselves to our new university life.
Besides, military training also benefits the society. It is an efficient education for patriotism and righteousness which are quite good to the society. With the keen awareness of military life, the students are easily affected by the soldierly enthusiasm. And what’s more, a series of learning for military knowledge can enlarged the students’ world and raise the society’s average knowledge of military.

Enlarged拼写有误
After several days’ thinking, I finally leant to know why we should have military training and what can we get from it: Military training is of strategic importance, and it benefits both the country and the individual. We should be clearly aware that to receive military training is our obligation. I’m so sorry that I failed to fulfill my duties, and if given one more time, I would treasure it and try my best to take it up.

Learnt to know 是否有些重复？

以上意见，仅供你参考
你写的很不错，意思表达比较好。

不过有些地方的表达，呵呵，我能感觉出有些中文思维了。不过我也找不出好的表达，希望不会介意。

写的很有水平，只好搬门弄斧的挑一些小错误了。
第一行要enter后面的into要去掉，因为enter本身就是进入的意思
第四行，be proud of 而不是for
找不到是哪行了，though 之后又用了but，应该把but去掉
还有一处写到集体，不应该用collectiveness，因为collectvie本身就有名词的意思。

1. 标题没主语。 what is the importance of military training?
2. when i had entered. 前者发生在后者之前，用过去完成时。
3.enter 本身就有into 的意思。
4. under the sun. ?

晕!