好用的止汗膏:有没有英语的笑话或祝福？

英语中有个笑话，问孩子爸爸妈妈谁离孩子更远，孩子的回答是dad,因为dad是father,是（远）的意思啊 ！

Oh.yes.You've got a point

you ask me i ask who?
if you not three not for,i will give you some colour to see see!

1Fine for Parking
Tell me again," asked the judge, "why you parked there?" The driver rose and answered respectfully(尊敬地), "Because, Your Honor, it said 'Fine for Parking'" (note: "fine" has two meanings 1) good 2) pay some money for doing something wrong.

2.Self-help
I went into a bookstore the other day and asked the woman behind the counter where the self-help section was. She said, "If I told you, that would defeat the whole purpose." (note: "self-help" has two meanings 1) you take without paying 2) you can choose as you like)

3.I Couldn't Digest So Many Apples
Doctor gravely(严肃地): "If you want to enjoy a long life, each time you feel like a drink. Eat an apple instead." Patient: "Sorry, I couldn't digest(消化） so many apples."

4.Is This a Question
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question? " A student wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The students received an "A" on the exam.

5.A Dollar Per Point
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying, "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.

Best wishes for the year to come!
恭贺新禧！
Good luck in the year ahead!
祝吉星高照！
May you come into a good fortune!
恭喜发财！
Live long and proper!
多福多寿！
May many fortunes find their way to you!
祝财运亨通！
I want to wish you longevity and health!
愿你健康长寿！
Take good care of yourself in the year ahead.
请多保重！
Wishing you many future successes.
祝你今后获得更大成就。
On this special day I send you New Year's greetings and hope that some day soon we shall be together.
在这特殊的日子，向你致以新年的祝福，希望不久我们能相聚在一起。
I would like to wish you a joyous new year and express my hope for your happiness and good future.
祝新年快乐，并愿你幸福吉祥，前程似锦。
May the New Year bring many good things and rich blessings to you and all those you love!
愿新年带给你和你所爱的人许多美好的事物和无尽的祝福！
Rich blessings for health and longevity is my special wish for you in the coming year.
祝你在新的一年里身体健康，多福多寿。
Good luck, good health, hood cheer. I wish you a happy New Year.
祝好运、健康、佳肴伴你度过一个快乐新年。
With best wishes for a happy New Year!
祝新年快乐，并致以良好的祝福。
I hope you have a most happy and prosperous New Year.
谨祝新年快乐幸福，大吉大利。
With the compliments of the season.
祝贺佳节。
May the season's joy fill you all the year round.
愿节日的愉快伴你一生。
Season's greetings and best wishes for the New Year.
祝福您，新年快乐。
Please accept my season's greetings.
请接受我节日的祝贺。
To wish you joy at this holy season. Wishing every happiness will always be with you.
恭祝新年吉祥，幸福和欢乐与你同在。
Good health, good luck and much happiness throughout the year.
恭祝健康、幸运，新年快乐。
May the joy and happiness around you today and always.
愿快乐幸福永伴你左右。
Please accept my sincere wishes for the New Year. I hope you will continue to enjoy good health.
请接受我诚挚的新年祝福，顺祝身体健康。
Allow me to congratulate you on the arrival of the New Year and to extend to you all my best wishes for your perfect health and lasting prosperity.
恭贺新禧，祝身体健康、事业发达。
Best wishes for the holidays and happiness throughout the New Year.
恭贺新禧，万事如意。
With very best wishes for your happiness in the New Year.
致以最良好的祝福，原你新年快乐幸福。
Please accept our wishes for you and yours for a happy New Year.
请接受我们对你及你全家的美好祝福，祝你们新年快乐。
May the coming New Year bring you joy, love and peace.
愿新年为你带来快乐，友爱和宁静。
Wishing you happiness during the holidays and throughout the New Year.
祝节日快乐，新年幸福。
A happy New Year to you.
恭贺新年。
Season's greetings and sincere wishes for a bright and happy New Year!
献上节日的问候与祝福,愿你拥有一个充满生机和欢乐的新年。
I give you endless brand-new good wishes. Please accept them as a new remembrance of our lasting friendship.
给你我无尽的新的祝福，让它们成为我们永恒友谊的新的纪念。
Good luck and great success in the coming New Year.
祝来年好运，并取得更大的成就。
On the occasion of the New Year, may my wife and I extend to you and yours our warmest greetings, wishing you a happy New Year, your career greater success and you* **mily happiness.
在此新年之际，我同夫人向你及你的家人致以节日的问候，并祝你们新年快乐、事业有成、家庭幸福。
May everything beautiful and best be condensed into this card. I sincerely wish you happiness, cheerfulness and success.
愿一切最美好的祝福都能用这张贺卡表达，真诚地祝你幸福、快乐、成功！