人间烟火和夏天的晚风:哪有英语短文或笑话？

1、what’s puberty(青春期)
One evening, in the midst of dinner preparation, our 10-year-old daughter asked, "Mommy, what‘s puberty?" My wife was rushed at the moment, so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dictionary, after which they could talk about it.

A few minutes later, Peggy returned. Her mother asked what the dictionary had said. "Puberty means," announced Peggy, "the earliest age at which a girl is able to bear children."

"What do you think of that?" my wife asked.

"I‘m not sure," Peggy relied. "I‘ve always been able to bear children. It‘s adults I can‘t bear.".

青春期

一天晚上，在准备晚饭的时候，我们十岁的女儿问：“妈妈，什么是青春期？”我的妻子此时正忙得不亦乐乎，所以她建议佩吉到字典上查这个词，然后她们可以再讨论它。

几分钟以后，佩吉回来了。她妈妈问字典上怎么说。

“青春期的意思是，”佩吉宣布：“一个女孩能忍受孩子的最早年龄。”

“你怎么想呢？”我妻子问。

“我不知道，”佩吉回答。“我总能忍受孩子。让我忍受不了的是大人。

Note: bear children: 生孩子。bear 一词也可作“忍受”讲。

2、
A little boy asked his mother "Why are you crying?"

一个男孩问他的妈妈：“ 你为什么要哭呢？”

"Because I‘m a woman," she told him.

妈妈说：“因为我是女人啊。”

"I don‘t understand," he said.

男孩说：“我不懂。”

His mum just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

他妈妈抱起他说：“你永远不会懂的。”

3、The poor husband

"You can‘t imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可怜的丈夫

“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”

4、I Wasn‘t Asleep

When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasn‘t asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

我没有睡着

当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”

“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”

“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”