离婚律师池海东:帮忙改一下我的英语作文

语法大致通顺但作文结构不很理想

I had a great time in Beijing .Overall, we enjoyed the trip very much .We arrived by train on Sunday . On Monday, we visited the Tian'anmen Square and BeiHai Park .Then, on Tuesday, we went to the Forbidden City which was very great. The next day ,we walked up the very long Great Wall.The last day,we went to Wangfujing to buy some presents for our friends .The journey was very short but it was very interesting .

I had a great time in Beijing .And we enjoyed the trip very much .We returned by train on Sunday .And on Monday we visited Tian'anmen Square and BeiHai Park .Then on Tuesday we went to the Forbidden City .It was great. The next day ,we climbed the Great Wall .It was very long.The last day,we went to Wangfujing to buy some presents for our friends .The journey was very short but it was very interesting .

Tian'anmen Square天安门广场: 和BeiHai Park:北海公园 前不用the

1great time似乎不是很确切，建议改为pleasant或者wonderful,splendid之类。
2前两句意思上重复，保留一句即可
3And on Monday这句and可以省略，写作中很少用And作为一句话的开头。
4最好walked along
5On the last day

arrived 后加上in Beijing因为 arrive是不及物动词
And on Monday we visited the Tian'anmen Square and the BeiHai Park
首先去掉AND，然后Monday换为monday,the Tian'anmen Square去掉the, the BeiHai Park 同理.we walked up the Great Wall 这样用不好如果换为 We climed up也许回好点. The last day改为The final day.
其他的就没什么大毛病了 ,你还没上高中吧,要好好学英语哦 ,我今天是刚高考完无聊帮你改改,以后可就只有靠自己了~~好好努力吧