日本马自达股份构成:求一篇短小精悍的英文笑话

I'm not a fool
A policeman was escorting a prisoner to jail .Suddenly the wind blew his hat right off his head .
"Shall I run and get it for you ?"asked the prisoner politely .
"Do you think I'm a fool ?"said the policeman ."You stand here and I'll go get it !"

我可不是傻瓜！
一位警察押送一个犯人去监狱．突然一阵风把他的帽子从头上吹下来了．
”我跑去帮您捡帽子，好不好？”犯人讨好地问．
”你当我是傻瓜啊？”警察说，”你站在这里别动，我去捡！”

这可是我一个字一个字打下来的啊～多辛苦啊～～～郁闷ing

弗罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园是一个迷人的地方。一次我和丈夫以及两个孩子前往旅游，我们全身心地沉醉在它的各种奇观之中。精疲力竭地玩了三天之后，我们要回家了。

当我们驱车离开时，儿子挥手说："再见，美奇。"

女儿挥着手说，"再见，美妮。"

丈夫也有气无力地挥了挥手，说道："再见，美元。"

On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I adn our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.

As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-by, Mickey."

Our daughter waved and said, "Good-by, Minnie."

My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-by, Money."

跳楼>
假如你要跳楼，

如果你想变成肉酱请到十楼，

如果你要痛快一点请到九楼，

如果你还想喘口气请到八楼，

如果你还想挣扎的话请到七楼，

如果你还想留遗言请到六楼，

如果你只是想残废请到五楼，

如果你只想住院请到四楼，

如果你纯粹想吓人请到三楼，

如果你只是感兴趣请到二楼，

如果你想被骂神经病请到一楼，

如果你弹跳力好请到地下室！~~~~

<这块石头挺面熟>
甲乙丙三人去逛街，发现一新开商店贴一标语：“最新科技---准确的电脑智商测试”三人看后一同被吸引。走进店中发现一把大椅子连着一个头盔，头盔后有一根电线连着电脑。

甲先坐进了椅子戴上头盔，电脑反应了一会打出一行字；“您的智商很高：275分”甲看后非常高兴。

乙又坐上了椅子，电脑响了一阵打出一行字：“您的智商属中等：75分”乙看后心中很不服气。

轮到了丙，丙心中很紧张，坐上椅子脸色发青，电脑嗡嗡地响个不停，最后打出一行字：“别拿石头开玩笑。”丙一时瘫在椅子中。

乙丙心中不服，决心修练后再比高低。

五个月后，三人又来到这家商店，甲照样是275的高分，乙也达到了125的分数，又轮到了丙，丙哆嗦着坐进椅中，电脑响了数个小时，终于打出了下面这句话：“这块石头挺面熟。”

Money and Friends
A:Which do you find more important, money or friends?
B:Frinds, of course.
A:Why?
B:I can always borrow money from friends.

钱和朋友
甲：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要？
乙：当然是朋友咯。
甲：为什么？
乙：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱。

TOM'S EXCUSE

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?

One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim.

你爸爸帮你了吗？

一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事？你爸爸帮你做了吗？"
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"

半夜三更，厕所无灯，你去解手，掉进茅坑，与蛆搏斗，与屎相争，精疲力尽，壮烈牺牲，生的渺小，死的无声，为了纪念你，厕所安了灯。