奔跑吧兄弟干 柳岩小说:一片课后练习，要写个短文，刚学，初写。错少不了。麻烦给看看，最好能多说下为何错了，谢谢！

Hello paul! （paul要改为大写的Paul)

Good morning!
I have just come back my home. （这里改为I've的话语言读起来会更顺畅一点）

I had a good time for these days in Australia(改为I stayed in Australia three days and I had a good time there[had a good time 也可以说成enyoy myself]). Stay with you was very happy(这个句话的正确说法应该是Staying with you were very happy,因为with是介词，因该跟动名词或名词). Thank(改为Thanks或Thank you) for your entertain(entertain应该写成entertainment，因为for后面只能跟名词或动名词）. This is my first came to Australia so many this is curious a lot and I very like your meals.（这句话是不是想说对很多事情都感兴趣？如果是的话，就该改为：so I was curious to know a lot of things."and I very like your meals这句话应该另起一段）。

I liked your meanls very much.To tell you the true(true改为truth,因为这里应该用名词）, even i eat more than at home. Haw-haw! You cooking is the best in I know people(正确说法是You are the best one in cooking that the people I knew). Especially it's that lobster(it's that 去掉）, it's very delicious（因为这件事情已经发生了，所以应该说that was very delicious)! I wish I could taste your dish, even it's only a bite. Thanks for your care again(for后面要接名词或动名词，换言之care应该改为caring，但是既然前文出现了entertainment ，为了前后文呼应，应该改为Thanks again for your entertainment)!

Now I am listening music that you send me and I am writing this letter to you. The music is good too. (整段话改为：Now I am listing to the music you send to me and writing this letter to you[that 可省， listing to...&sent to 都是固定搭配，I am 只要一个就可以了]）

Though we can't often meet, but we can keep connecting by E-mail（改为：Though we can't often meet together, we can keep in touch by e-mail[有了though就不能有but,keep connecting 可以，但keep in touch 更地道]）.

Finally, If you get change, welcome to you come to china（直接说welcome to China[china记得要大写，不然就变成‘陶瓷’的意思]). Your coming is welcome by anytime.

如果还有疑惑的话可以sent message给我哦~~~~ ^_______________^

1.paul,名字,P要大写.前面要逗号隔开
2.stay--->Stayed
3.Thank-->Thanks或者Thank you
4.entertain-->entertainment.
thanks for sth.要加名词.
5.that was my first( time to )came to Australia
这是我第一次来澳大利亚.(前面用了过去式,后面也别忘了)
句型是这样的:it is my first time to do sth.
6. so many this is curious a lot 这句有错,不知道你要表达什么,所以没改.
I very like your meals-->改为 I very the meals very much.
7.true--->truth.the要加名词.
8.应该是想表达(甚至比我在家里还吃的要多吧).?
I ate even more than at home.
9.as i knew,you were the best cook.
10. Especially it's that lobster-->Especially the lobster.
11.it's very delicious!--->it was very delicious.
12.I wish I could eat again.Thanks for your tendance again!
13.Now I am listening to the music that you send to me
listen to..固定搭配.send to也是.
14.Though we can't often meet each other.
meet后面要加宾语啊.
15.get change --->get a change
16. welcome to china.

Good morning!
I have just {come (came)}back my home.
I had a good time for these days in Australia.{ Stay(Staying )} with you was very happy. {Thank(Thanks)} for your entertain. This is my first came to Australia, {so many this is curious a lot(so I had the most curious journey)} and I {very (删)}like your meals加（very much \ a lot）. To tell you the{ true(truth)}, even i eat more than at home. Haw-haw! {You(Your)}cooking is the best {in I know people(of all )}. Especially{it's that（删）} lobster, it's very delicious! I wish I could taste your dish, even it's only a bite. Thanks for your care again!
Now I am listening （to）music that you send me and I am writing this letter to you. The music is good too.
Though we can't often meet, {but(删)} we can keep connecting by E-mail.
Finally, If you get change, welcome {to you（删）} come to china. Your coming is welcome by anytime.

I have just come back my home. 应为CAME

Stay with you 应为STAYING WITH

Thank for your entertain应为 entertainING
This is my first came to Australia最好为This is the first time Icame to Australia,因为first不能做名词
To tell you the true改为trueth,固定用法
You cooking 应为your cooking
I know people应为the people I know
send me 应为sent to me
Though we can't often meet最好为meet with each other
get change应为get changed
welcome to you come to china应为welcome to China
so many this is curious a lot and I very like your meals这句我没看懂，不过 very like your meals是肯定不对的
另外，
Your coming is welcome by anytime.应为 Your coming is welcome by us at anytime
Thanks for your care 应为caring
PS:你是真不会还是假不会？？

I had a good time for these days in Australia
FOR应该改为IN，楼主想说的是在Australia玩得很开心吧？没有用FOR的形式

Stay with you was very happy
stay应改为staying，这里是主语，要用doing的形式

get change
应改为get a change 或者get changes
change 是可属的

Thank for your entertain
Thank 后面要加S，楼主和think搞混了吧，这里THANK是做名词的

so many this is curious a lot and I very like your meals
没法改了。。你的意思是不是许多事物都很新奇？ 用it is very curious there就行。还有后面应该改成I like your meals very much。这里like是动词，不能用VERY修饰的

even i eat more than at home
直接用i eat more at home就行

You cooking is the best in I know people
表达式不对，应改为You cooking is the best of the people theat I know

Especially it's that lobster
明白你意思，得用Especially the lobster

Now I am listening music that you send me and I am writing this letter to you.
listening 后面要加to和the，send后面也要加to
第二句里I am 可以省略掉也就是改成……and writing this letter to you

Though we can't often meet, but we can keep connecting by E-mail.
thought或者but去掉一个，英语习惯与汉语不同，前面说了但是后面就不要了。

welcome to you come to china
直接用welcome to come to china

Hello paul!

Good morning!
I have just come back home.
I had a good time for these days in Australia. Staying with you was very happy. Thank you for your entertainment. This is my first time that I came to Australia. It was quite curious and I like the meals very much. To tell you the true, I ate more than I do at home. Haw-haw! Your cooking is the best among the people I know, especially that lobster, it's very delicious! I wish I could taste your dish, even it's only a bite. Thanks for your entertainment again!
Now I am listening music that you sent me and writing this letter. The music is good .
Though we can't often meet together, we can keep connect by E-mail.
Finally, if you get chance, welcome to China. Your coming is welcome whenever.

Yours PingLi